Gingerbear Christmas (Howls Romance Howliday Special) Read online

  What he did see across her skin, mixed in with her blush, were thousands of goosebumps. Clancy ground his teeth together and felt the slash of his anger directed at himself.

  “Let’s get you into the truck. You’re cold.”

  She didn’t argue with him, following him the final distance to his truck. “You know, I could help you carry my bags.”

  He put both bags into the back of his truck, and yes, he did make a little bit of a show as he did it. It was worth it when he turned around and saw her slightly widened eyes. He opened the passenger door and heard her laugh. It wasn’t a funny ha-ha kind of laugh but one of shock.

  Clancy turned around to help her in and saw the way she looked at him, like she wasn’t sure what to think.

  He set that thought aside and instead of reaching for her hand to help her into the truck, he reached out and set his hands on her waist. A moment later, he set her down on the passenger seat of his truck and saw her shocked expression.

  His bear sat smugly in the back of his mind and his ursine mouth twisted up at the corners.

  Clancy had been fighting his bear’s influence since he’d filled his lungs with her scent. Having her so close and worrying about the look that she’d had on her face and the questions behind it, his bear had snuck through his barriers and taken hold of Clancy’s physical form long enough to touch Haley.

  Later he would have a little conversation with his other half, but at that moment he had to deal with the potential problem between them.

  “I’m sorry. I-”

  “Wow,” she shook her head as if she was trying to clear it, “you really are strong.”

  “Strong?” He liked the way she was looking at him with a bit of awe in her expression, but he didn’t understand it. “I thought you’d be upset.”

  Haley started to shrug and then seemed to give up, letting her shoulders drop. “Sure, that was a little heavy handed.” The corners of her smile crept up as if she was thinking about a private joke. “I’m just a little shocked. If I’d known you were going to do that, I would have warned you.”

  He didn’t understand her meaning at first, but he saw the way her hands nervously skimmed over her thighs and up to her waist. The color that was in her cheeks was more of a ruddy color instead of a blush and he realized that she was… embarrassed?

  Clancy opened his mouth to speak and then stopped, remembering a particular conversation he’d had with Theadora years ago about women. She’d told him that a woman, a human one to be specific, did not find questions or comments about her weight to be anything more than rude. Unless she’d pointed out with some care, you were telling them how beautiful you thought they were.

  But only, she’d continued on, adding another caveat to the lesson, if she would believe the words. If there was a chance that she thought the man wasn’t being truthful that would be a definite NO.

  He was more than glad that he remembered her instructions. At the time, he thought she’d been crazy to even try to explain something so unnecessary to him.

  He owed Theadora an apology. And yes, a bear hug.

  So, rather than trying to tell Haley that she shouldn’t worry about her size or shape, because he definitely had no problem thinking she was beyond beautiful, he decided to take her mind off of her worries and do something to make both his bear and himself happy by taking care of her.

  Reaching his hands up to the top button on his woolen shirt, he twisted the first button free. He freed the second and was reaching for the third when she gasped and reached out her hands.

  Haley caught his wrists easily.

  Mainly because the sensation of her hands on him had the emotional weight of an avalanche, almost knocking him off of his feet.

  Clancy looked down at her hands and saw the way her fingers curled around his wrists. The instinct to turn the table and hold her wrists in one of his hands was almost too much to fight. He wanted to touch her all over, but first things first.

  “What…” she licked her lower lip before she continued to speak, making him growl under his breath, “what are you doing?”

  Doing? Did she mean besides holding himself back from lowering her to the bench seat of his truck and climbing on top of her? “You’re cold.”

  She blinked up at him and then blinked again. “Yes, I am, but why are you…”

  Her voice trailed away as he finished unbuttoning his shirt even with her hands gripping his wrists. When he reached the bottom where the hem of his shirt was tucked into his jeans, he grasped the open halves of his shirt and tugged them free. As he reached around to the back of his shirt to repeat the gesture there, he noticed that her hands had left his wrists.

  When he tugged the tail of his shirt from the back of his jeans, he felt something cold against his belly.

  Looking down he saw her fingers had tucked into the waistband on either side of the center button.

  Clancy smiled when he saw that her eyes were focused on his stomach.

  He wasn’t exactly sure what she was thinking, but he had an idea. Or at least a hope.

  As he shrugged the shirt off of his shoulders and worked it down his arms, the natural movement of his body brushed his skin against the backs of her fingers and he felt her tense, almost freezing in place as he tugged the shirt off of his hands.

  And when he settled the shirt over her shoulders and wrapped it around her, cocooning her in its warmth, he was happy that she didn’t try to refuse it or take it off. Instead, he saw her touch her cheek to her shoulder and breath in his scent.

  His bear rubbed his shoulder against their connection and Clancy agreed. The fact that their mate liked his scent on her made them both growl with pride.

  Clancy knew he had to move. He had to walk away, or he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.

  “Let’s get you home.”

  Without waiting for her to say anything, he bent down and helped her shift on the bench seat, tucking her feet under the dashboard. A quick movement buckled her safely against the seat, and then he was walking around to the driver’s side of the truck.

  He didn’t dare lift his gaze to look at her. Neither he nor his bear liked having the body of the truck between them and their mate, but it was necessary.

  Holding onto his control by his nails, he winced as he nearly pulled the driver’s side door off the truck. Clancy ground his teeth together as he swung up into the cab of the truck and started the engine with a quick turn of his wrist.

  He shifted the truck into gear, but before he could press his foot onto the gas pedal, he felt a hand on his arm.

  Clancy’s gaze fell onto her face and he managed to push his human voice through the dark grumble of his bear. “What’s wrong?”

  She smiled, a half-smile, with just one corner of her mouth turning up. “Seatbelt, please.”

  When he didn’t automatically move, she leaned closer, reaching across his body. He caught her hand in his, gently enough that she could move her fingers easily. His eyes asked her to explain.

  And she did.

  Her smile broadened, but her eyes softened as she looked up into his. “I want to make sure you’re safe too.”

  How could he deny her anything?

  Clancy lifted her hand and placed kisses on her gently bent knuckles. When he was done, he turned her hand and leaned his cheek against the inside of her wrist.

  He felt her shiver at the touch, but she didn’t pull away.

  Instead, his mate seemed to lean into the scratch of his beard and his bear mirrored her as he leaned heavily against their link.

  When he let go of her hand, he quickly buckled his seatbelt and pulled away from the curb, turning his truck toward the winding road up to his home. For the first time in his life he found himself wishing that his truck had an automatic transmission so he could have taken her hand in his.

  Then again, perhaps it was best that he kept his hands off of her. If he didn’t put that distance between them, he might lose what was left of his control
and the last thing he wanted to do was press her too quickly. Scaring her away was the last thing he wanted to do.

  So, he concentrated on following the road up through the snow drifts and the tall evergreens. He needed to get her home safe and sound so that he could begin the most important job he’d ever had, taking care of his mate.

  Taking care of Haley.

  3

  Haley had to admit that Clancy had been right about her car. Sure, she loved Sally, but her intrepid little buddy would have gone off the road at the first curve and he would have had to pull her out of a snowbank. She also had to admit that it wouldn’t have been all that tragic for her. Seeing Clancy with his muscles flexing against the snowy landscape… oh brother! She must have hit her head!

  The ideas running through her addled brain were crazy to say the least, but romanticizing the idea of an accident?

  Sure, she’d been alone for a while, but even before she stopped seeing her boyfriend, she’d been lonely.

  Maybe it was just the attention that Clancy was paying her.

  The way he seemed to care about her. Worried for her almost ancient car. Worried that she was cold.

  It was likely just because he was a nice guy at heart, but to her, it meant a lot.

  She felt something touch her knee and when she looked down, she saw Clancy’s hand on the worn fabric of her jeans. Haley knew how old her jeans were, but she also knew that they were still thick enough to stave off most of the cold. The heat that she felt radiating from his hand was incredible. It was all she could do to keep awake as the devious warmth of his body seeped into hers.

  The days and hours that she had driven to Allaway suddenly weighed on her, sending her easily to sleep.

  The last thing she remembered was laying her hand on top of his and closing her eyes.

  When he finally pulled up into the covered garage next to his cabin, Clancy’s heart was ready to burst free from his chest.

  Haley had set her hand on his right before she’d fallen asleep. It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful moment of his life.

  She trusted him. He didn’t know if it had been a conscious gesture, or just her subconscious mind leaning into his presence. Either way, he recognized it for what it was. A gift.

  Haley. His mate.

  He wanted to say it out loud, but he didn’t want to startle her awake. She was obviously exhausted. Her long drive to Allaway, coupled with the high elevation had sapped her of her energy and put her to sleep in his truck.

  Undoing his seatbelt, he got out of the cab of the truck and quickly shut the door. He’d kept the heavy metal door from making more noise than a quiet click and rounded the front of the truck as he kept watch on her. The cold didn’t faze him at all.

  It would have to get much, much colder before it did more than send a slight chill through him. Even in his human form, Clancy kept some of his bear’s natural warmth and protection from the elements.

  A quick look through the side window showed that she wasn’t leaning on the door or in any danger of falling out when he opened it.

  Concerned over the chill in the air, Clancy pulled the door open and leaned into the opening to block her from any errant winds as he unbuckled her. He slipped an arm under her thighs and one around her back, easily lifting her against his chest.

  He leaned against the truck door, closing it softly before he moved to the side door of the house. A quick twist of the knob and a nudge of his shoulder and he was inside his home with the most precious woman in the world held in the protective circle of his arms.

  Within him, his bear rose up on his hind legs and roared his approval.

  Clancy longed to do the same, but he wouldn’t disturb her sleep for any reason, not when she was leaning so sweetly against his chest. He felt her breath across his skin while the tendrils of her hair felt like silk. Safe inside his home, he didn’t want to let go of her anytime soon.

  And given the deep sleep she was in it was going to be awhile before she woke up as long as he managed to keep her secure and safe.

  So, he did the best thing he could do for the time being.

  Clancy made sure the mudroom door was closed, and leaning her body against his, he made quick work of securing the deadbolt. He’d never used it before.

  There wasn’t much call for visitors to his house and he’d always left his doors unlocked before, but now he had a reason to change.

  He had a mate to protect.

  The woman who sighed in her sleep and cuddled closer.

  With a smile touching his lips, he made his way into the living room and sat down on the couch.

  He’d made the frame himself. A shifter of his size couldn’t exactly pick out furniture from a ready-made catalog. Even IKEA didn’t have anything he could use.

  Sitting down against the armrest on one side of his couch, he carefully adjusted his hold on Haley to make sure that her neck wasn’t at an odd angle. Once she was safely positioned against him and her legs stretched out across the middle cushion, Clancy reached for the blanket he kept on the back of the couch. It wasn’t that he left it there for his use, he’d seen blankets across the backs of other couches and when he’d learned the reason why, he’d started doing it himself.

  The deep-seated satisfaction he felt as he laid the blanket over Haley was something akin to joy. The blanket settled over her and it wasn’t long before she wiggled a little and settled against him. Closer.

  In her sleep she wanted to be closer. To him.

  He could only hope that when she woke, she wouldn’t be upset that he’d kept her with him.

  Clancy just couldn’t think of a better way to watch over Haley than to literally do it. This close he could hear every breath, every whimper. When she moved her legs and one foot found its way out of the protection of the blanket, he was there to cover it up again.

  There was more satisfaction in watching her sleep than anything else he’d experienced before.

  If there was any doubt that she was his mate, born to be by his side, it was wiped away when her hand reached out and searched, patting the cushion beside her thigh, he watched and waited. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for her hand to come into contact with his.

  Her hand was smaller than his. He knew that for a human she was tall, and her body was deliciously curvy, voluptuous. Yet her hand could fit into his easily. He could wrap his hand around hers and protect it if the need should arise.

  But when her hand found his in her sleep, she wasn’t looking for protection.

  Her palm skimmed over the back of his hand, the lengths of her fingers dipping and sliding between his.

  Clancy was sure that she didn’t know the effect her touch had on him, but it didn’t lessen the way her touch called to both halves of his soul. As the tips of her fingers gave the back of his hand a gentle scratch, he felt his bear roll over inside of him as if the big hairy grump was swooning in delight.

  He didn’t fault his bear for feeling that way. Clancy knew the kind of satisfaction that came from a good scratch. When in the form of his bear, Clancy was just as much under the surface of the animal as it was just under the surface when he was human. He knew how much his bear loved to rub up against the rough bark of trees to ease the itch of his coat.

  Every time they shifted back and forth it was as if their whole bodies had to reset themselves. For the bear, every hair grew in with each transformation and in the winter his bear’s coat was thicker.

  Millions of hairs growing through the bears hide in a moment. Less than a moment. That caused a whole rash of itching all over his body. Feeling Haley’s fingers scratch at his skin sent those sensations to his bear and the creature wanted more.

  Wanted her.

  Wanted Clancy to claim her.

  Clancy had to tuck those feeling away.

  The bear wanted what it did because it was instinct. Pure natural need.

  But, as a human, Haley would be driven by other senses.

  Her heart was just as i
mportant, even more so than his baser needs.

  Clancy knew he would have to romance her, and he knew he’d enjoy it. He couldn’t wait to see the joy on her face as he showed her what love and life could be like between them.

  He would love her before he made love to her.

  And he would hope that her love for him would grow from there. That she might understand what having a mate meant. What it would give them both and yes, take from them both.

  Being that connected to another being came with its own consequences, but he knew without a doubt that he would face any danger or walk through fire for Haley.

  She murmured something in her sleep and turned toward him. Haley tucked her hands under her cheek and settled down again. The sensations that she created were staggering. Her breath against his belly. Her hands touching the same sensitive skin.

  Clancy had never been as thankful for his thick denim jeans than he was at that moment. If Haley noticed the hard length encased behind his zipper, she didn’t show it. Thank goodness she was asleep.

  If just an innocent touch stirred him to this extent, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what would happen if she laid her hand over his straining erection.

  And he didn’t want to find out.

  Not then.

  Not when he was already fighting hard to keep himself at a distance from her.

  There were things that needed to be said and explained.

  He wasn’t going to force the issue.

  But he did need some distance.

  The more she enticed him with her innocent touches, the harder it was going to be to keep himself from giving in to the demands of his bear.

  It took some doing, but Clancy found a way to move himself off of the couch and not disturb her so that she could continue sleeping. He managed it, but before he straightened up to his full height, he leaned in and pressed a nuzzling kiss against her cheek.

  The soft exhale of a sigh was his reward for his patience, and he fixed the blanket, tucking it in around her body.